Gratitude & Interaction
As we come upon another holiday season, I found myself so frustrated by the idea of Thanksgiving. This marks the second time in the last year that something to be celebrated caused me to have stress and anxiety. I’ll get to the second time in a minute, but first let’s look at Thanksgiving. A day that marks our gratitude for the people and things that we have. Now, being an America, I’m used to this day being more than a just a regular “I’m thankful and full of love” moment. For many of us, the next couple of months are going to be hectic spectacle and not really politically correct (but let’s not get into that). For me, this holiday has been; call your family, invite everyone over, get the groceries, plan for an extra trip because you will inevitably forget something, deep clean the house, plan for extra seating, plan for the plan after dinner, pray the family and in-laws get a long, go to work, save for gifts, and do it all with a smile!
Now, of course, I’m grateful for everything I have. The amazing privileges, the things that I have and more importantly, the people that I have in my life. This year, I did however realize how stressful it is to be grateful.
The curious thing about gratitude is how powerful it is. When I decided to open my wellness studio I left my full time job, got an office space and I was prepared for things to move slowly. I had the know-how, plans in place, money saved, a wonderful support system and even with all of this I had an overwhelming amount of stress. We are talking can’t sleep, my mind was only on work, and an overwhelming feeling of dread. If you’ve ever experienced those feelings, you know how horrible it is to live like that. Thankfully, all things pass.
I was talking with my partner about my stress and he asked me a question which gave me amazing insight. He said “I know you’re stressed about these things, but what are you grateful for?” I was confused at first. How could asking me what I’m grateful for have anything to do with this moment? Then it sank in. I had tunnel vision. All I could see was the stress, what I stood to lose, what I needed to do next, and the dreaded how long is it going to take until I feel secure? I’m not saying one should throw caution to the wind and NEVER think about those stressful things. As humans we are going to have stress, nobody can change that, we don’t really have a choice on that. We do have a choice on how we deal with it. Stressful aspects are important and need to be looked at but once they become all you see then they will be all that you feel.
So, how do we balance this? Gratitude! After that conversation I decided to start mentally making a list of all the things I was grateful for. It wasn’t easy, especially coming from that stressful place, but every day I checked in with the things that feed my soul. My partner, my fur babies, my friends, my family and all the comforts that I have. As I said before, making this daily list and reminders of what made me happy WASN’T easy. It was hard, but after about a week, it got easier and then easier each day. Slowly, my stress started to decrease and I was able to not have repetitive stressful thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, the stressful thoughts were there, but because it was easier to decrease the stressful thoughts because I had the good to balance them.
Practicing gratitude is a lot like meditating, it can have so many benefits, but many of us only do it when we’re in that stressful time or when we’re expected to. Just think what we might accomplish if we were to have a daily gratitude, even if we didn’t need it. Reflecting on how stressful getting ready for Thanksgiving is to me, it’s clear, I need to expand that gratitude circle and not be thankful in my mind, but also reach out more to those around me. I know what you might be thinking “I don’t know that I have that kind of time” I will admit that I feel like I don’t. It doesn’t mean it’s true, I just feel that way. The reality is that showing thanks can be as simple as sending a funny text to your friends, a loving image to a family member. Even a simple “I appreciate you” to a partner won’t spark a long conversation you don’t have time for, but it might move them in ways that you didn’t expect. No partner? No problem! Tell yourself how grateful you are! Do something for you. That might mean getting a nice meal, a cute outfit or even just taking some extra time for a solo session and really give yourself that self-love! The gratitude you have for what’s around you will take you deeper in your interactions. This can be with self, or others.
So why am I stressing on the holidays? Being thankful isn’t a production, if you find yourself making a big production it might be time to ask yourself if you’re making it big to compensate. When it comes to gratitude, it’s all about the little things you can do that make big changes.
PS, my Thanksgiving was AMAZING! After all that stress everything went smoothly. The families met, the food was delicious and I was surrounded by love!